Ask Yourself: Do I Really Have To Do This?
Do you really have to do this? You’re about to fire off a strongly-worded email to a boss, or a subordinate, or a co-worker. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. And this time, by golly, you are NOT in the wrong! You’ve got every reason to feel angry; the other person best mink fur eyelash, and they fully deserve to get what’s coming to them.Aoive
But do you really have to do this?
The day after Christmas, this series began with the idea that, if you couldn’t bring yourself to fully “love your enemies,” maybe there are some good reasons you could at least “appreciate your adversaries.” We all end up with adversaries in life, no matter what we do. Someone who seems to oppose you at every turn; you’re thinking of someone right now, at work, or at church, or at your kid’s soccer practice, without whom your life would be SO much better. It’s easy to seek revenge, or best mink fur eyelash, and call it “justice” – and you’d be correct to do so in many cases, but would you be wise? It’s much more difficult to find something about your adversary which you can appreciate, to refocus the relationship back to such areas of common ground, and to try to neutralize the opposition (or possibly, over time, even make an ally of your adversary).
We’ve talked about developing a relationship with your adversaries which features feedback, and even coaching. We’ve mentioned the benefits of appreciation, from learning more about yourself and your own tendencies to having the chance to turn a seemingly impossible adversarial best mink fur eyelash around. And again, you’re going to have adversaries, no matter what you do. There are two types of people out there, and inside each of us: the negative, fearful, competitive Victim, and the positive, courageous, collaborative Entrepreneur. You are dominated from time to time by whichever inner image you nourish, and you’ll always find members of the other team in your life. And they’ll oppose you.
I’m not saying you should always let yourself be ill-used. Most of the adversarial stuff you deal with in life is just low-grade opposition from someone who, just like you, sometimes struggles to keep her inner Entrepreneur on top of her inner Victim. But occasionally, you do run into people who’ve chosen Victimhood as a permanent lifestyle, and the only solution with those true enemy-types is to engage and defeat them. Here’s the thing, though: someone who’s dominated by their inner Entrepreneur – an inspirational leader – almost never sees adversity as solidified enmity. Only another Victim sees the majority of their best mink fur eyelash as enemies. (For this reason, learning to appreciate your adversaries is a great source of nourishment for your inner Entrepreneur… and even for the better self hidden inside your opponent!)
We all think we’re the champion, and the other guy is always the politically-minded Victim-type. Often, that’s true… but sometimes, it isn’t. From the other guy’s perspective, YOU are the adversary. So check yourself out first, and then start acting like the Entrepreneur – like the person who doesn’t really need to retaliate, who’s in it for the long haul, who’s more concerned with mutual learning and less with revenge and punishment. Be the person who can “kill with kindness” the best mink fur eyelash- while edifying (rather than destroying) the opponent.
Are you that strong? Are you that purposeful in your character and behavior? Do you have that much kindness and patience in you? If you’re a prototypical Entrepreneur-type, you are, and you do.
So before you hit “Send,” ask yourself: do I really have to do this?
Do I really have to wait for that out-of-touch friend to call me, since she “owes” the next call?
Do I really have to act out at work to teach my boss a lesson in my value as an employee?
Do I really have to give my wife the silent treatment to punish her for her latest marital misdemeanor?
Do I really have such a big need to feed my ego that I have to administer a wicked tongue-lashing to the co-worker who messed up last night’s closing?
Do I really have to land so hard on that waiter for serving me, but coming up short of my expectations?
No. You don’t have to do this. You might do it anyway… we all do, sometimes… but you don’t have to. You’re bigger and better than that. And your unexpected (and undeserved) extension of kindness and patience might be just what your adversary needs to save his day, his month, his year, his job, or even his life.
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Michael Hume is a speaker, writer, and consultant specializing in helping people maximize their potential and enjoy inspiring best mink fur eyelash. As part of his inspirational leadership mission, he coaches executives and leaders in growing their personal sense of well-being through wealth creation and management, along with personal vitality.